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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632808">Funeral Rites for the Living</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura'>misura</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:56:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thara visits Shulivar one last time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thara Celehar/Aina Shulivar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Chocolate Box - Round 5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Funeral Rites for the Living</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Island_of_Reil/gifts">Island_of_Reil</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shulivar did not look up as Thara entered his cell, only raising his head as he said, "Mer Shulivar."</p>
<p><i>Canst not think of him as 'Aina'</i>, he reminded himself, <i>if thou must think of him at all,</i> but if he would not think of Shulivar, he would think of Evru, which was hardly better.</p>
<p>"You," Shulivar said, near-smiling and Thara almost felt himself recoil from the expression on his face.</p>
<p>No hatred, or even weary resignation or fear at what would happen to him in the morning, or any of the things Thara had braced himself for. He had come thinking himself ready, but now he realized that he had been wrong, that Shulivar was not Evru - as he should have known.</p>
<p>Evru had only killed a single person - a crime, yes, but hardly significant to the empire as a whole.</p>
<p>Shulivar - <i>I do not love thee,</i> Thara thought fiercely, knowing that so long as he did not speak aloud, the thought was meaningless. <i>I used thee as thou used me. That was all.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>I would use thee one last time, if thou wouldst let me.</i>
</p>
<p>"You did what you saw as your duty," Shulivar said, almost kindly, as if he thought Thara in need of comforting, of a pat on the head and the reassurance that he had acted with propriety.</p>
<p>If Shulivar had not used singular formal, Thara felt he might have embarrassed himself.</p>
<p>"As did I," Shulivar went on. "So you see, we are yet more alike than you thought."</p>
<p>Thara remembered their first time, so different from how it had been with Evru. There had been no gentleness in it, no sweet words or soft touches. He had hurt the morning after and felt it no more than he deserved even as he knew that he would seek out Shulivar again, as much for the sake of his investigation as for his own gratification.</p>
<p>"I came here not to have speech with thee," he said.</p>
<p>For the first time, something like regret showed on Shulivar's face. "As often as you heard me, still you do not understand. You do not <i>see</i>."</p>
<p>"I see well enough," Thara said, his tone as cold as he might make it.</p>
<p>Shulivar sighed. "You serve Edrehasivar. I suppose I must content myself with that."</p>
<p><i>My life has not been arranged for the sake of thy </i>contentment<i>,</i> Thara thought.</p>
<p>"Hast come to see me in chains, then?" Shulivar said, his voice low and teasing. "Had I but known this to be thy preference, I might have indulged thee sooner."</p>
<p>Thara vividly remembered Shulivar holding him down with enough force to bruise, to have desire stir in him every time he happened to glimpse his own wrists for days after. He had not permitted himself to feel shame then; he would not permit it now.</p>
<p>"Wouldst thou put me in them instead?" he asked, coming closer.</p>
<p>"Too many chains on thee already, even if thou canst not see them," Shulivar said.</p>
<p>Thara trembled, though he could not tell whether it was from anger or desire or a mix between the two. He forced himself to calm, then realized what folly that would be. <i>An thou wished for calm, wouldst not have come here.</i></p>
<p>"Shut thy mouth," he said, and Shulivar chuckled.</p>
<p>"Thou art the one mincing words, not I."</p>
<p>"You are right," Thara said, and thought <i>forgive me,</i> though whose forgiveness he craved and for what, he could not say, only that it would not, could not matter.</p>
<p>Shulivar's mouth, shut, met his willingly enough, even eagerly. Thara permitted himself to surrender to the sensation, to stop thinking of the future or the past and only remain aware of the here and now, the feeling of Shulivar's body against his own, Shulivar's tongue, slipping inside his mouth.</p>
<p>He knew that this night, these moments would be how he remembered Shulivar, rather than any of the other times they had done this.</p>
<p><i>Shouldst not have come,</i> he told himself, hearing Shulivar groan against him as in reply, as if their closeness enabled him to read the thoughts from Thara's mind.</p>
<p>His body betrayed him, mocking his resolve as much as Shulivar had, without words or mercy.</p>
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